Human Condition

Mountains

New Life Series (P1): Sitting with Jesus at the Edge of the World

This article is part 1 of 4 in the ‘New Life’ series. It is based in absolute true life events. Mine.   #   I knew exactly where I was going. I went there every night. A small forest path that wound slightly left and right, up and down. It was covered in just enough snow to crunch beneath my calf-high leather boots.   Over head, the spruce and pines swayed soft in the wind, shuttering a fresh snowfall. As I followed this familiar path, each new tree lit up with white lights, not unlike the mini white Christmas lights we buy at the super stores but these lights had a glow like a thousand fire flies. I was deep, deep in the forest, so clearly their power was not electricity. But it never made a difference how they were made to glow. What was important was I knew they were glowing for me. That seemed so simple. So innocent.   As I continued walking through this ancient tunnel of trees, I began to see the expected clearing up ahead. It grew closer and closer.   The trees parted abrupt, the fading sun almost blinded me and if I took one more step forward, I would be plunging. I was all, and at once, on the edge of a magnificent cliff, over looking a mountain range so vast and so personal, I can’t find the right words to describe it.   The snowfall became more brisk in the open air and an up draft wrapped itself around me, almost taking me forward. But I’ve been here so many nights, I know what happens next.   One step forward, one look straight over the rocky overhang, a breath, a wonderment, a step backward then another breath. Taking that extra step forward would have to wait for another night.   Behind me and slightly left was a manmade bench of solid pine. Not linear. The seat was overly oblong and curved in several places. It was polished only from generations of sitting. The back of the bench was also oblong with a strange high and low curvature. It had strength and wqs held to the seat with three thick, hand-carved poles. It sounds uncomfortable but I tell you it’s very existence was designed for such peaceful respite as I now sought. I know. I’ve been here so many times before.   I turned slightly and made my way to the bench. Without even looking, my left hand shot forward and scooped up a large fur coat, complete with a hood that swallowed my head. Maybe elk, maybe wolf. I never asked so I can’t speculate. I only know when I put it on, something naturally calmed all the voices that were troubling me on my trek through the trees. The cloak began to swallow me in it’s breadth so I wrapped right then left. Satisfied I was bundled up warm, I finally sat on the edge and stared out at the majestic scene before my eyes.   Mountains in every direction. Trees scattered up and down them. Below the cliff, a deep valley. Within the valley, a Bavarian village kissed by the falling sun. Snowfall. Every where snowfall. Then pure silence. Even the wind moved in a hushed tone, just out of earshot. I sat, as I always did, struck with amazement that such a place could exist and that I, small and insignificant, was allowed to witness its perfection.   I waited and it came. The distinct aroma of honey crisp apples and pure balsam. Not overbearing. Just enough to shift my mind from the silence. My eyes remained forward as he slid up next to my right side in his own fur. He looked out, too, but spoke directly to me.     “You’re not wrong,” he said.   “I feel wrong,” I said.   “I’d tell you if you were wrong.”   “Would you? Maybe I’m making up the words in my head that you speak to me.”   “That is possible. But I believe you know otherwise.”   I took a breath and exhaled, mist coming from my mouth.   “I do,” I said.   Silence. That was what was most important. The silence.   “You hear me calling you every night. That’s why you come,” he said.   “I come for many reasons,” I said.   “Oh?”   “Mostly to silence the confusion.”   “We’ve covered that.” Silence. “Tell me the truth.”   More silence. Then it fell from my mouth, unrestrained.   “I’m here to stop the voices. The painful scenarios I’m bearing all by myself that are destroying me from the inside out. To seek real answers to the questions I’m making up the answers to.”   “And?”   “To hear you say how much you love me.”   Both our fur cloaks swirled and almost became one as he wrapped me tight, laid us both back on the bench and pulled me close.   “I love you without question, with reserve, without judgment,” he said.   The snow paused but a moment. He continued.   “I just love you. And it’s going to be alright.”   I finally looked up into his most beautiful, excepting eyes.   “Do you promise?”   “I do.”   It was really that simple. Believe.   He kissed me on the forehead several times, murmurs of love escaping his lips.   Then silence. Long silence.   “Look. The lights are coming on,” he said.     We both leaned far enough forward to watch the lights on the houses in the valley light up randomly just as the sun sank behind the gigantic hills. Up and down the majestic mountains, trees in the forest also lit up. It was beyond magic. It was purity.   I waited. It would come because this was a space blessed with pure truth.   “You’re not wrong,” he said again.   And just like that, my tears cascaded in waterfalls down my

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Borrowed Anxiety: How Doomscrolling Warps Our Shared Reality

What the actual fuck is ‘Doomscrolling’? I swear, our country creates the most useless, stupid labels on the planet. Oh, America.   To answer the question, doomscrolling is America’s new rollercoaster – a ride we never asked to board. Each swipe of our phone drags us higher with headlines of chaos, then plunges us into loops of fear, outrage, and despair. Unlike a theme park ride, there’s no thrill at the end – only exhaustion that lingers long after we put down the phone.   I don’t doomscroll. I’ve never fallen into the habit of endlessly refreshing news feeds, chasing the next piece of grim information, or tumbling down rabbit holes of outrage. But I’ve watched people I care about do it, and I’ve noticed something that worries me deeply: they come away carrying stress that doesn’t even belong to them.   It isn’t their tragedy. It isn’t their burden. But after a half-hour of scrolling headlines, they look heavier, more worn down. Their anxiety has been borrowed, absorbed from a stream of strangers, and it clings to them like second-hand smoke.   That’s the heart of what doomscrolling does: it transfers the world’s suffering into our pockets, then into our minds, until we feel it as though it were our own. And while empathy is one of the best parts of being human, borrowed anxiety doesn’t make us kinder or more connected – it makes us fearful, exhausted, and divided.   Doomscrolling as a Psychological Transaction   Current articles online will describe doomscrolling as a bad habit: people get stuck scrolling, can’t stop, and wind up anxious. That’s true – but it doesn’t capture the deeper psychological exchange at work.   When you doomscroll, you’re not just reading the news. You’re engaging in a kind of anxiety transaction:        • Input: endless negative headlines, disasters, scandals, and tragedies.      • Exchange: your brain takes on stress hormones – cortisol, adrenaline.      • Output: you carry that stress into your mood, your relationships, and your worldview.   The brain confuses exposure with involvement. If you read about wildfires, violence, or corruption for long enough, it feels like these threats are not only constantly happening but also directly pressing on your personal safety. Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between your neighborhood and the full-blown chaos three states away.   The irony? Most people doomscroll not because they like feeling bad, but because it gives the illusion of control: “If I just know more, I’ll be better prepared.” But the knowledge isn’t preparation. It’s paralysis.   The Cost of Borrowed Anxiety     Borrowed anxiety doesn’t just live in the mind. It spreads like that wild fire you just read about fifteen montes ago:        • In households: families argue more, not about personal conflicts, but about the issues they’ve absorbed from online outrage.      • In workplaces: doomscrolling during breaks leads to increased irritability and distraction when people return to tasks.      • In communities: conversations shift from sharing hope to sharing despair, from solutions to cynicism.   On a larger scale, borrowed anxiety distorts our shared reality. If enough people believe the world is collapsing – regardless of actual data – society begins to behave as though collapse is inevitable. Hopelessness becomes a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.   That’s the hidden danger: doomscrolling doesn’t just harm individuals; it shapes the mood of an entire culture.   A Compassionate Concern   I want to be clear: I don’t see doomscrollers as weak, ignorant, or foolish. Quite the opposite. Most people who doomscroll are deeply empathetic. They care about what’s happening in the world, and they don’t want to look away from suffering.   The problem is that algorithms exploit empathy. Social platforms are designed to reward outrage, fear, and sensationalism. The more you care, the more you click. The more you click, the more the system feeds you reasons to worry.   It’s like empathy weaponized against itself. People want to stay informed, but the firehose of negativity leaves them hopeless instead of empowered.   From the outside, it’s painful to watch. I don’t doomscroll, but I live with its ripple effects. I see how borrowed anxiety changes the tone of conversations, how it darkens moods, how it keeps people up at night. And I wonder, what kind of future are we building if we all carry stress that isn’t ours to bear?   Moving Toward a Healthier Information Diet     If borrowed anxiety spreads through constant exposure, the way forward is not total disconnection. Shutting out all news is its own form of denial. The goal isn’t ignorance – it’s balance.   Here are a few approaches that may help:        1) Choose a single trusted source.Instead of grazing across dozens of feeds, commit to one or two outlets you believe in. Trustworthiness matters more than speed.      2) Set a time boundary.Pick a specific time of day to check the news – and stick to it. Constant updates create constant unease.      3) Replace passive scrolling with active reading.Reading a long form article or analysis engages the mind more deeply and constructively than skimming headlines.      4) Balance negative input with solution-based news.There are outlets dedicated to reporting progress, innovation, and resilience. Seek them out to remind yourself that not every story is catastrophe.      5) Ask: “Does this truly belong to me?”Before absorbing a story, pause and ask whether this anxiety is yours to carry. Sometimes compassion means action – donating, volunteering, calling representatives. Other times compassion means acknowledging the pain but not internalizing it.   What Would It Feel Like to Stop Borrowing Anxiety?   I often wonder how American society would feel if we weren’t burdened with each other’s constant fear. Imagine walking into a conversation where people were sharing ideas instead of outrage, curiosity instead of cynicism. Imagine logging onto social media and seeing stories of resilience

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Black Panther

Festival of Words 2025 – “Pantera”

The word “pantera” primarily translates to “panther” in English. Who knew? It’s the Spanish and Italian word for the ‘large cat’; often used to refer to a black leopard.   I choose to use pantera during my very own Festival of Words, coming up from Sept 24-30, 2025. This seven-day celebration is an authorship reflection of myself and my part in the state of the human condition. During this time, pantera will be treated as an ‘acrostic’; each letter of the word stands for a value, mindset, or action that can elevate someone’s life.   Pantera also ties into my health diagnosis of the rare, incurable disease, CIDP, and my survival journey of the last twelve years. Power and strength, courage and fearlessness, mystery and spirituality. When I look back, I was a panther in every sense of the word. I still am.   Allow me to share the entire acrostic meaning of pantera from my Festival of Words, in case you don’t catch it on social media. As you read and reflect, please realize, with this knowledge, comes the responsibility of sharing it.   My Acrostic Meaning of ‘Pantera’ P = Perspective A = Authenticity N = Nurture T = Truth E =  Empathy R = Resilience A = Attitude   Day 1: Perspective Every single thing we touch, taste, smell, experience and SAY is guided by Perspective. Look around you. Words. Too many words, pictures, desires, falsehoods.   Sensory overload. Plastic existences. A world suffocating under its own human inventions. Perspective can change all that. Silence the overload. Remember why it all is.   * Temporary is inevitable for everyone. * Perspective is ingenious. * It’s not too late.   Day 2: Authenticity Authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. That’s where the magic happens in our daily lives – if you’re brave enough. When we stop trying to be who we think others want us to be, even who we want ourselves to be, and start embracing our genuine selves, something beautiful shifts.   Our relationships deepen because people connect with our truth, not our ‘performance’. Our stress levels drop because we’re not constantly managing a facade. We make decisions that actually align with what matters to us, leading to a life that feels genuinely fulfilling rather than exhaustingly curated.   To cultivate authenticity is to embark on the most rewarding journey possible: the journey home to ourselves, where we discover that our greatest gift to the world isn’t our perfection, but our willingness to show up as we truly are, inspiring others to do the same.   * Embrace the imperfect you. * No apologies. * You know who you are.     Day 3: Nurture Your soul needs a big, warm hug and you didn’t even know it! Nurturing is the gentle art of tending to what matters. A friendship, a dream, your own well-being, or even that little plant on your windowsill. It’s the sacred alchemy of conscious cultivation, transforming the raw materials of human potential into extraordinary realities through deliberate acts of care and attention.   When we actively nurture the good stuff in our lives, everything starts to bloom in ways we never expected. That friend you check in on regularly becomes your biggest cheerleader. The skills you patiently develop become your superpowers. The kindness you show yourself on rough days becomes your unshakeable resilience.   * It’s so simple. * Don’t water the plant, the plant dies. * We can be dead on so many levels.   Day 4: Truth I grew up in a household that would not tolerate even the tiniest mistruth. If you did make the mistake of telling a lie, it was time for Dad’s belt. There is something to say about a bit of parental fear but that’s a whole other article.   Truth is fucking messy, uncomfortable, and absolutely liberating all at the same time. We spend so much energy dancing around it, sugarcoating it, or hiding from it, but here’s what I’ve learned: living in truth is like finally exhaling after holding your breath for years.   To live in truth is to choose radical freedom over comfortable delusion, knowing that while honesty may initially challenge us, it ultimately becomes the foundation upon which we build a life of profound meaning, connection, and purpose.   When you commit to truth, you attract people and opportunities that align with who you actually are, not who you might be pretending to be.   * The truth will set you free. * You don’t have to like it. * Don’t wait for your death bed.   Day 5: Empathy How often do you say, “I see you. I hear you. I understand you.” Do you really mean it?   That’s Empathy. It emerges all around us as the essential thread that weaves humanity together, yet we are witnessing first hand its gradual erosion in an age of digital disconnect and polarized discourse.   In our rush to be right, to defend our corner of the internet, or just to get through our packed schedules, we’re losing the beautiful art of truly seeing each other.   When we pause to really listen, when we try to understand someone else’s story before jumping to conclusions, something shifts. Our relationships get deeper, our communities get stronger, and we feel less alone.   * Nobody’s that busy. * Be an architect of Empathy. * “Hey, what’s that like for you?”     Day 6: Resilience Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from rough times. It’s about learning to bend over backward without breaking. Some people are masters at this without even realizing it.   Think about those living with chronic illness who wake up each day not knowing what their bodies will throw at them, yet still find ways to laugh, love, and contribute to the world. They show us that strength isn’t about never falling down; it’s about getting creative with how you keep moving forward.  

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